I'm in the middle of my 2,000-mile odyssey across southeastern Tennessee, southern Ohio, and rural Indiana. There is much to share from my 15-year high school reunion (my New Kids legacy lives on! Damnit!) and my long weekend of Absolut Pear, jukebox music, and 47 spins of Avril's "Girlfriend" with girl_about_town, darkluna, margiecb and tvnewseditor, who was in town for her wedding shower/bachelorette party.

So. Last night we went to see Bon Jovi tribute band Slippery When Wet (I think "Bad Medicine" would be a better name, but they didn't ask me). It was one of the more bizarre experiences I've had in my band-seeing history. Naturally I know of this trend of "tribute," ("cover") bands, but had never seen one first hand except for a Beatles tribute when I was in junior high. But as Chuck Klosterman has pointed out, there is a certain peculiarity with tribute bands that provide the experience of seeing a band that itself STILL TOURS. (e.g. - Dave Matthews Band, BON JOVI.)

First, they were quite good. Master mimics. And eight bucks to see them versus 50 or 60 to see the real deal? I think proportionally we got the better end of the deal. All of the hits with the exception of "Living in Sin" (probably because it was a minor hit and the notes at the end are ones no mere mortal can hit). Even threw in the JBJ solo track "Blaze of Glory." The front man, we'll call him Jon Bon Fauxvi, was clearly troubled and probably certifiably delusional. From the razor-shorn locks to the splayed finger salute to the REAL SUPERMAN TATTOO (My GOD!) to the affected smile, he really pours his heart and soul into the role of Jon Bongiovi, to an alarming degree. I wondered if his wedding ring was real, or just worn because JBJ is himself married. Everyone in our group occasionally just had to avert our eyes because his imitative precision was giving us douche chills. Jennifer Jason Leigh levels of counterfeiting. Ummm ... just look at this picture. I know, right? Nice Philly Soul jersey, PS.



So I now have a new answer to the oft-asked "If you could have dinner with five people, living or dead" question. Two invites would go to real Jon Bon Jovi, and Jon Bon Fauxvi. Maybe I'd miss out on scintillating convo with Bill Clinton, or Jesus, or Elizabeth I, but you can't say the tale of two Jovis wouldn't set the world on its ear. Ryan Seacrest would of course be invited to regulate: "Two Bon Jovis enter? Only one will leave."