Recap will be up tonight, but the scandals of this season need their own posting, yes? Wow, the evolution of MySpace really has f*cked people.

In case you missed it --

1. David Hernandez used to get naked for cash. Lots of cash, apparently. People are wondering if he'll be booted from the show a la Frenchie Davis, but wasn't Season One's Nikki McKibbon a stripper? I think they thought Frenchie's closet skeleton constituted "pornography," but the whole thing is ridiculous anyway. True American pop idols ... Britney Spears, Madonna, Michael Jackson ... aren't exactly models of smart behavior (exception: Madonna has been doing just fine for the past 20 years or so, and she's also cast aside that whole "American" thing).

2. Ramiele Malubay may or may not have grabbed a co-worker's clothed bazoomba. Oh, the humanity!

3. My favorite? Danny Noriega pulled his best Chris Crocker imitation, delivering a rather unconventional Christmas message of light and bearded rape. I knew that guy had a bitchy queen buried right below the surface. Good for him!

4. And "rock and roll nurse" Amanda Overmyer is dealing with the disgrace of possible nude photos and a definite DUI. Well, no sh*t.

David Archuleta, don't fail us now! You were totally a drug mule.

My co-worker just sent over this picture of Jon Stewart, circa like 1981, and I don't know where he found it, but I sort of love it.

Here's your moment of Zen--

Don't mock me, but hearing the news of Tammy Faye Bakker Messner's passsing made me quite sad. Yes, she wore more mascara each day than I have collectively in my 32 years. Yes, she cried at the drop of a hat. Yes, she benefited monetarily from the shady actions of the PTL Club.

But the last thing I remember about her, save the news that she was wasting away at 65 pounds, was her attitude on Season 2 of The Surreal Life. Truly embodying the Christian values of acceptance, kindness, and love, she accepted Ron Jeremy in spite of his sexual proclivities and 9 inches of notoriety. Those who are quick to judge and scorn under the guise of "Christianity" could actually learn a lesson or two from Tammy. May she rest in peace.

Ummm ... why are Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafucco still famous? Why do we continue to reward and popularize people for shockingly bad behavior?

Thanks to Fighty, my co-worker for this article and my blog title.


Scott Stapp arrested on assault charges.

Oh, darkluna, is your schadenfreude on high alert as mine is? I mean, my heart goes out to the alleged victim, but I just find this whole thing plenty ironic.

Oh, Jordan Catalano...


Safe for work ... unless you've just eaten.

Killing. Me.

Wow, O.J. Simpson just gets wackier and wackier. For those not wanting to waste their time on the link to this fecking monstrosity of hubris and bile, here it is in summation:

"I'm O.J, I'm awesome! (I love Justin Timberlake!) And I may or may not have banged Anna Nicole Smith two years ago, but even if I did, my sperm is sloooow on the scene ... isn't that the best joke you've ever heard, ever?!! I'm totally kidding (except about the banging part - natch!), and I'm in completely good taste..."

"...but you know what, as I continue this hilarity - don't test Daniwhoozitz for Simpson DNA (now why does that phrase sound familiar?) because I don't want Fred Goldman going after the Smith family fortune! Ah, that rascally Fred Goldman ... why won't he just leave me alone! Live and let liv--- Oh."

I didn't know it until the "Classic Rock" station here played a four-peat of Nirvana, of which I caught three songs, but Kurt Cobain would have been 40 yesterday. I mean, damn. Can you imagine that human being? Some people just aren't mean to be middle-aged in this world.

Heather Fecking Mills will be on Dancing With the Stars. Is bitch clueless about the fact that everyone in the known galaxy, including her own father, finds her completely vile? Which means, of course, that dummies will vote FOR her, to keep her on the show and up the drama quotient. Worthless, worthless, worthless. Meanwhile, I'll probably root for Ian Ziering, because Steve Sanders was such a magnificent bastard. Not that I watch the show, because I actually don't.

The latest Britney update is so not a surprise. And I'm digging the theory that K-Fed wanted those locks tested for drugs, as a salvo in the custody case. Doesn't she have hair elsewhere on her body? I mean, we know where it isn't, but I'm pretty sure she still has eyebrows, unless she's gone all The Wall on us. Remember what I said three seconds ago, about people meant to be middle-aged in this world? Sigh. Brit once wore a vaguely offensive tee shirt that said "Die young, stay pretty." She's on her way to being half right.

I had a fairly relaxing three-day weekend including dinners out, the one-year birthday party for ELOP and JCP's triplets, and lots of laundry. No blogging, and for that I say "ehhh?" But a lot of stuff happened while LJ was sleeping.

*The thought of being able to get both MLB broadcasts AND Howard is pretty tempting. Wonder how the new joint service will be combined, if the deal meets regulatory approval (and that's a big "if").

*Britney, Britney, Britney. K-Fed continues to look like the winner of this PR battle with every passing day. He is going to get custody of those boys, and it's no matter, because at this rate, Brit will join the dead-at-27 club. But she doesn't have the talent of Jimi, the pipes of Janis, or the genius of Kurt. An intervention, or SOMETHING, seems absolutely necessary. But in other news, I can't believe her head-shaving story is EVERYWHERE. The lead story on news broadcasts from the Redwood Forest down to the Rio Grande. Bitch shouldn't even be FAMOUS anymore - In The Zone came out in 2003.

*It's Mardi Gras! I'm envious of my NOLA kin, who have lovely weather and a large group of loving family members and friends with whom to celebrate. I am looking forward to a visit from the exterminator, for one. In related NOLA news, my youngest maternal-side first cousin Kruh (blathering's nickname) proposed to his lovely girlfriend, 'Ber, by hiding a ring in a piece of king cake! Laissez les bons temps rouler!

Oh, and in some happy (but still not surprising) news ...

Howard A. Stern and Beth Ostrosky engaged.

Yay! I'm happy for the crazy kids.

Happy Valentine's everyone. Three nuggets of news that come as no surprise but distress me nevertheless:

Studio 60 getting its ass yanked into the ether after next week's episode.

Paula Abdul admits to taking prescription drugs.

Bucky Covington back in the news.

Mr. Whirled just sent me the news that Anna Nicole Smith passed away. She was 39 years old. Her poor baby girl, now without her big brother or her Mom, and her paternity is in question.

Lord, the tragedies that have befallen this family. She was a loose cannon, but so is Courtney Love, and she's still kicking. Literally.

The Oscar nominations:

Best Performance by an actress in a supporting role: Adriana Barraza, Cate Blanchett, Abigail Breslin, Jennifer Hudson, Rinko Kikuchi

Best Performance by an actor in a support role: Alan Arkin, Jackie Earle Haley, Djimon Hounsou, Eddie Murphy, Mark Wahlberg

Actress: Penelope Cruz, Judi Dench, Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet

Actor: Leonardo Di Caprio, Peter O'Toole, Ryan Gosling, Will Smith, Forest Whitaker

Director: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu , Martin Scorsese, Clint Eastwood, Stephen Frears, Paul Greengrass

Best Picture: Babel, The Departed, Letters from Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, The Queen

I've seen one of the Best Picture noms. I've got a lot of work to do.

Tags: celebrities, movies

I know I'm way behind on the curve here, but I can't yet quite wrap my mind around the fact that Jared Leto's band, 30 Seconds to Mars, is a full-fledged success. I always thought they'd be of the Dogstar/Aleka's Attic/Bacon Brothers ilk. And I can't get over the fact that he's their lead singer. Or that he is thirty damned five years old. Or, as Sprite reminded me, that the poor thing has gout.

"From Yesterday" is an absolutely kick-ass song. But I caught the video yesterday and all I can think of is Jordan Catalano sucking ass at trying to sing The Ramones while drunk. "I wanna be sedat-eh-ed."

Peter Boyle has died at age 71.

One time, back when I was capricious and single, I commented to some smug married friends that I didn't "get" the whole Everbody Loves Raymond humor. I was advised that that was because I wasn't married and dealing with in-laws and marital issues and what not. Which meant these friends could never watch Sex and the City or Will & Grace? I don't know. And the truth is, once married, I never really "got" ELR either, but Frank Barone was always completely funny. He will certainly be missed.

We are losing too many folk, folks.

Ummm ... when, exactly did Harry become the better-looking prince (jr.) of England?



Poor little Willie is looking more and more like dear ole Dad every day. The two announced today that they are planning a concert next year in celebration of their mother's life (and to mark the 10th anniversary of her death). Headlining will be Di's once-proclaimed "favorite group," Duran Duran. Oh, yes.

Well, thank God. This nugget just came screaming across the AP Wire ...

SAN FRANCISCO (MarketWatch) -- News Corp. has canceled the O.J. Simpson book and television special ``If I Did It,'' according to a Monday media report. The book, which has drawn controversy, describes the events surrounding the murder of Simpson's former wife and her friend. "I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project," said Rupert Murdoch, News Corp.'s chairman, according to an Associated Press report. "We are sorry for any pain that his has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson."

What a sick, sick fuck.

Those of us in the StL metro have probably seen this commercial where Michael J. Fox advocates supporting Senatorial candidate Claire McCaskill due to her stance in favor of stem-call research.

So Rush fucking Oxycontin Limbaugh comes out today, per this article (and the clip of his show that I just heard online), saying that poor Marty McFly should be ashamed of himself for "exaggerating" the effects of this horribly degenrative disease. Claiming that he's seen him on Boston Legal and he doesn't shake like this; so on and so forth. First of all, there is no way Limbaugh watches Boston Legal in all of its David E. Kelley left-ness. Second of all, Fox has publicized plenty of times that he takes medication to control the effects of the disease, which, left untreated, render him in the state in which he appears, for example, in this commercial. And like he appeared before Congress a few years ago.

Michael J. Fox is 45 fecking years old and had to give up on Spin City and a movie career (aside from voice-overs) because of this disease. Rush Limbaugh can go blow himself. Rah rah free speech and all, he can say whatever he wants, but Christ on toast, what an asshole.

Why am I constantly blogging about Aaron Carter of late? Anyway, six days late I'm listenting to the 9.28 Stern show where he interviews Nick and Aaron. A meeting of the minds, I tell you what. And actually, Nick was sort of laidback and funny and Aaron isn't quite the ungrateful, spoiled, asshole he comes across as on House of Carters (at least the 10 minutes I saw of it before wanting to chloroform myself).

Howard really delves into the goods ... Nick's relationship with Paris Hilton, the allegations of abuse, what they think of Justin Timberlake, what the eff happened when Aaron was hanging out with Michael Jackson, etc. etc. But what shocked me was Aaron's seemingly honest admission that Hilary Duff is the love of his life (so far), and that one of the reasons for this was that she and he lost their virginity to one another. Stop the presses? I thought she was a supposed VTM*, and while I found it a little unbelievable at THIS juncture, with her dating a 20-something power-punk-pop dude and all, I certainly didn't think she gave that shit up at 15. Wowsers. Maybe he was lying, but he seemed sincere. Whatever. Have some fun with the funk.


*virgin-'til-marriage

Aaron Carter's engagement has been called off. He tells US Weekly: ""I got caught up in the moment and proposed. I then realized it was a hasty thing to do and I am not ready for marriage quite yet..."

Hmmm.