"If you are a better writer than you are an analyst, do not agree to a stock-picking competition." Just kidding.

My mom taught me many things growing up, both as my mother and as my sixth-grade reading/social studies teacher. Two nice maxims that I have passed on to many are:

(From Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.) --- "Before you speak, think about three things; is [what you are about to say] kind, is it true, is it necessary." Example: telling your friend "You look fecking terrible in that dress." While it MAY technically be true, it is certainly not kind, and, unless she is trying on WEDDING dresses or something, it is not necessary. Many people lacking filters between brain and mouth should employ this.

Secondly, "If you think something nice about someone, you should tell them." Occasionally, this backfires. Last week, I approached a Spederline looking couple to compliment them on their singing voices, which were quite lovely. I was greeted with blank stares. Ah, well.

Last night, at a dinner at my parents' house following a very moving but quite sad dedication of a section of the Kent State library, a man who had taught my brother was talking about how, as humans, we can control our own happiness and frame our own destinies. He said that one thing that differentiates us from others in the animal kingdom is that we are storytellers. And he said "We listen to the stories we tell ourselves." Isn't that an optimistic way of thinking? I loved it. Now I just need to stop telling myself the story of how, in fact, I AM more stupid than Homer Simpson.