![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
Two damn hours? Fuuuuuck. And again, my sense of humor is still stuck on the Mayflower, or so it feels, so stick with me, folks.
Intro BS: Fantasia is one scary looking broad ... Ryan is melodramatic yet dapper as hell and a walking advertisement for pomade ... "3 months?" He's lying, right? That takes us to June 12, which just ain't right.
Enter these fools!: Brandon Rogers, looking a little sloppy and laidback; front-runner Melinda Doolittle, in a super-cute dress; Chris Sligh, who's left his specs on the bedside table and is hella discombobulated as a result; Gina Glockson, about 20 pounds thinner from week-to-week; Sanjaya Malakar looking like Minnie Driver in a Honeycomb sweater from the Limited, 1994; Haley Scarnato, gorgeous and fully aware that she's the luckiest bitch on earth; Phil Stacey, creepy but oddly likable; LaKisha Jones, regal in white satin; Blake Lewis dressed as Mark Darcy; Stephanie Edwards, refusing to acknowledge the damn camera; Chris Richardson, confident, raffish, and super-cute; Jordin "PIMP SPOT!" Sparks looking panicked and late for the prom.
Sidebar: I looked for a Chris Richardson icon last week, and the only spot on which I found any leads was at a Blake/Chris slash-fiction community. Help.
Ooooh ... I forgot Diana Ross was in the house. This could prove to be one hot and tasty mess. Lick it up. Damn, she is eleventy shades of terrifying. But she seems at least lucid.
Brandon Rogers. "You Can't Hurry Love." Brandon, as I've said before, has a GREAT face, but he looks awkward in his body on this big stage, or something. Stilted and forced and rather unmemorable. The voice is fine, better in his higher register, the lyrics are left on third fecking base at one point, and showing up in the number-one spot to boot leaves him vulnerable. Also, his hair is a bit unkempt.
Melinda Doolittle."Home." The subtext between Ryan and Simon reaches a very uncomfortable breaking point. These guys are so half baked. That said, Melinda continues to be endearing week after week. Vibrato is out of control out of the gate, and I fear this song will bore me. Melinda is a consummate professional and looks like an absolute natural on the big stage, whereas it swallowed Brandon. Her voice is powerful and great, but this song's melody is just sort of odd - notes speckled all over the place and no sense of direction. Maybe it's just me, but the last power note seemed a tweak flat. Paula in tears like a fabulous mental patient.
Chris Sligh. "Endless Love." Diana is not digging Sligh's scene, but whatever. This kinda sounds like "Endless Love" remixed with Coldplay's "Clocks." Interesting concoction. I sort of dig it, and his voice is awesome, but put the glasses BACK, man! Damn you, Randy!!! I said Coldplay FIRST man, and it is totally 'Clocks,' not 'Speed of Sound.' Anyway, I'm curious why the judges are ripping him a new dickhole when last year, whenever Daughtry "made something his own," he was lauded up and down Main Street.
Gina Glockson. "Love Child." I kind of love Gina. "Pronunciate?" For some reason, my spell check knows not this word. Remember when Sweet Sensation covered this song? Me neither. Oh. Her voice, with the subtle runs and the nicely controlled dynamics, sounds pretty great on this one. Broad range, smooth confidence, rich tone - yay!
Sanjaya Malakar. "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." God, this dude is vapid and closeted. Were Diana Ross' eyes always this far apart? Everything about this performance is ridiculous, from the spiral curls to the pristine white cuffs to the shallow vocal tones. He can't even be heard over the BAND, people. Very good for a high-school chorus, for certain, but compared to many of the other contestants? Pitifully sub-par. Simon: W-A-I-L, people, not W-H-A-L-E. That just turned into an unnecessarily confusing crapfest.
Haley Scarnato. "Missing You." Who? Oh, right. Haley is doomed, and damn quick, but I'm glad she has stuck around for a little bit because I've gotten over my baseless hate of the girl, and would gladly have a conversation with her over a nice bottle of Riesling. She looks beautiful, bag of a dress notwithstanding, and her choir-ready voice is actually a good fit for this song, as she sounds yards better than any previous week. (Or so I thought, because apparently she forgot the lyrics.) Maybe just hot enough at the right time, I thought ... though I'm not sure how much time she's ultimately bought. She's getting plenty of face time in the aftermath, which can only help.
Phil Stacey. "Make You Love Me." Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again. Oh, here it goes again. Mediocre beginning segues into a very capable chorus. But then the second verse reverts into blah territory. So I don't think it is initial nerves, I'm thinking his vocal prowess just fizzles down low? Like ... the range isn't what it should be? It's a mystery, and something to consider down the line, but his final notes are good, and as we all know, that is ALL THAT MATTERS.
LaKisha Jones. "God Bless the Child." LaKisha is getting married immediately after this broadcast. What's to say? An admirable, spot-on performance of a hulking song, wrought with emotion and bravado and richness and big notes. So why am I not bowled over? I have no idea.
Blake Lewis. "You Keep Me Hanging On." Love that he's an innovator, seriously, and he's definitely too good for this stupid show. And he's so fun to watch, I hope he's around for years. His singing voice itself sounds better than in recent weeks. Notes are all there, the tone is pretty. I like the slightly fresh minor-key backbeat snaking through the verse. It drags on a little bit toward the end, but I think that's a product of the damned monotonous song itself.
Stephanie Edwards. "Love Hangover." It takes one supremely (heh) bad dress to unflatter a 97-pound girl. This song is repetitive and so boring ... or have I just been sitting here listening to this singing for too long? Her voice is crystal clear and pretty, but memorable? Nope.
Chris Richardson. "The Boss." My God, these guys just can't project from their lower registers; it is some kind of conspiracy. As I'm looking down typing, I would swear Justin Timberlake was singing, for real. Aaand ... the first into-the-audience strut of the season. Well played, young'un. The arrangement gets a little out there and messy toward the end, but he'll be safe and will do better next week.
Jordin Sparks. "If We Hold On Together." Jordin looks very weird here - weird makeup? Distracting. Oh - yawn, yawn, boring, boring blah swelling movie ballad. Please let this show STOP. The pimp spot here is actually a bad thing because the audience has checked out mentally by this point. So, yeah. I guess her voice is fine, albeit strained on the high notes.
Gone: has a guy ever been first out? Since Season 1? Vanessa, Leah, Amy, Lindsey, Melissa. No. So Haley is in trouble, and Stephanie, along with Brandon maybe.
Tomorrow: Results, and the madness begins.
Seacrest out!
Intro BS: Fantasia is one scary looking broad ... Ryan is melodramatic yet dapper as hell and a walking advertisement for pomade ... "3 months?" He's lying, right? That takes us to June 12, which just ain't right.
Enter these fools!: Brandon Rogers, looking a little sloppy and laidback; front-runner Melinda Doolittle, in a super-cute dress; Chris Sligh, who's left his specs on the bedside table and is hella discombobulated as a result; Gina Glockson, about 20 pounds thinner from week-to-week; Sanjaya Malakar looking like Minnie Driver in a Honeycomb sweater from the Limited, 1994; Haley Scarnato, gorgeous and fully aware that she's the luckiest bitch on earth; Phil Stacey, creepy but oddly likable; LaKisha Jones, regal in white satin; Blake Lewis dressed as Mark Darcy; Stephanie Edwards, refusing to acknowledge the damn camera; Chris Richardson, confident, raffish, and super-cute; Jordin "PIMP SPOT!" Sparks looking panicked and late for the prom.
Sidebar: I looked for a Chris Richardson icon last week, and the only spot on which I found any leads was at a Blake/Chris slash-fiction community. Help.
Ooooh ... I forgot Diana Ross was in the house. This could prove to be one hot and tasty mess. Lick it up. Damn, she is eleventy shades of terrifying. But she seems at least lucid.
Brandon Rogers. "You Can't Hurry Love." Brandon, as I've said before, has a GREAT face, but he looks awkward in his body on this big stage, or something. Stilted and forced and rather unmemorable. The voice is fine, better in his higher register, the lyrics are left on third fecking base at one point, and showing up in the number-one spot to boot leaves him vulnerable. Also, his hair is a bit unkempt.
Melinda Doolittle."Home." The subtext between Ryan and Simon reaches a very uncomfortable breaking point. These guys are so half baked. That said, Melinda continues to be endearing week after week. Vibrato is out of control out of the gate, and I fear this song will bore me. Melinda is a consummate professional and looks like an absolute natural on the big stage, whereas it swallowed Brandon. Her voice is powerful and great, but this song's melody is just sort of odd - notes speckled all over the place and no sense of direction. Maybe it's just me, but the last power note seemed a tweak flat. Paula in tears like a fabulous mental patient.
Chris Sligh. "Endless Love." Diana is not digging Sligh's scene, but whatever. This kinda sounds like "Endless Love" remixed with Coldplay's "Clocks." Interesting concoction. I sort of dig it, and his voice is awesome, but put the glasses BACK, man! Damn you, Randy!!! I said Coldplay FIRST man, and it is totally 'Clocks,' not 'Speed of Sound.' Anyway, I'm curious why the judges are ripping him a new dickhole when last year, whenever Daughtry "made something his own," he was lauded up and down Main Street.
Gina Glockson. "Love Child." I kind of love Gina. "Pronunciate?" For some reason, my spell check knows not this word. Remember when Sweet Sensation covered this song? Me neither. Oh. Her voice, with the subtle runs and the nicely controlled dynamics, sounds pretty great on this one. Broad range, smooth confidence, rich tone - yay!
Sanjaya Malakar. "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." God, this dude is vapid and closeted. Were Diana Ross' eyes always this far apart? Everything about this performance is ridiculous, from the spiral curls to the pristine white cuffs to the shallow vocal tones. He can't even be heard over the BAND, people. Very good for a high-school chorus, for certain, but compared to many of the other contestants? Pitifully sub-par. Simon: W-A-I-L, people, not W-H-A-L-E. That just turned into an unnecessarily confusing crapfest.
Haley Scarnato. "Missing You." Who? Oh, right. Haley is doomed, and damn quick, but I'm glad she has stuck around for a little bit because I've gotten over my baseless hate of the girl, and would gladly have a conversation with her over a nice bottle of Riesling. She looks beautiful, bag of a dress notwithstanding, and her choir-ready voice is actually a good fit for this song, as she sounds yards better than any previous week. (Or so I thought, because apparently she forgot the lyrics.) Maybe just hot enough at the right time, I thought ... though I'm not sure how much time she's ultimately bought. She's getting plenty of face time in the aftermath, which can only help.
Phil Stacey. "Make You Love Me." Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again. Oh, here it goes again. Mediocre beginning segues into a very capable chorus. But then the second verse reverts into blah territory. So I don't think it is initial nerves, I'm thinking his vocal prowess just fizzles down low? Like ... the range isn't what it should be? It's a mystery, and something to consider down the line, but his final notes are good, and as we all know, that is ALL THAT MATTERS.
LaKisha Jones. "God Bless the Child." LaKisha is getting married immediately after this broadcast. What's to say? An admirable, spot-on performance of a hulking song, wrought with emotion and bravado and richness and big notes. So why am I not bowled over? I have no idea.
Blake Lewis. "You Keep Me Hanging On." Love that he's an innovator, seriously, and he's definitely too good for this stupid show. And he's so fun to watch, I hope he's around for years. His singing voice itself sounds better than in recent weeks. Notes are all there, the tone is pretty. I like the slightly fresh minor-key backbeat snaking through the verse. It drags on a little bit toward the end, but I think that's a product of the damned monotonous song itself.
Stephanie Edwards. "Love Hangover." It takes one supremely (heh) bad dress to unflatter a 97-pound girl. This song is repetitive and so boring ... or have I just been sitting here listening to this singing for too long? Her voice is crystal clear and pretty, but memorable? Nope.
Chris Richardson. "The Boss." My God, these guys just can't project from their lower registers; it is some kind of conspiracy. As I'm looking down typing, I would swear Justin Timberlake was singing, for real. Aaand ... the first into-the-audience strut of the season. Well played, young'un. The arrangement gets a little out there and messy toward the end, but he'll be safe and will do better next week.
Jordin Sparks. "If We Hold On Together." Jordin looks very weird here - weird makeup? Distracting. Oh - yawn, yawn, boring, boring blah swelling movie ballad. Please let this show STOP. The pimp spot here is actually a bad thing because the audience has checked out mentally by this point. So, yeah. I guess her voice is fine, albeit strained on the high notes.
Gone: has a guy ever been first out? Since Season 1? Vanessa, Leah, Amy, Lindsey, Melissa. No. So Haley is in trouble, and Stephanie, along with Brandon maybe.
Tomorrow: Results, and the madness begins.
Seacrest out!
disgruntled9 Is there something I should know? | Please please tell me now!