Okay, faithful readers (all seven of you), I hate to disappoint, but I've only watched seven singers (first three/last four) so far. I am out of town and it is late, so here are initial thoughts, and I'll be back this weekend with more. Next week? FULL-ON 2005-style reviews!!

Patrick Hall. Honestly? A really good voice and a look that isn't awful. But I voted for you, and got through with the greatest of ease, unlike others. You had to go first, which isn't easy. I hope you make it through so you can show better game next time.

David Radford. You, dude, would earn a big Mother-Fuckin designation from me if you weren't so bleeding desperate. Ugh. Go away.

Bucky Covington. So he sings a Busch beer jingle, which is so fecking appropriate. MY GOD. TOo growly for my taste, but sounds far better than I'm sure he smells.

Elliott Yamin. Best male voice EVER, Simon says? As littlegreen83 said at age 6, "I beg to differ!" But he is talented. And is trying to hide those rotted-out teeth. Would love to hear him behind the mike again.

Bobby Bennett. Oh, Lord. Look at this picture, y'all (the one on the right). It says it ALL. Spunky, friendly, charismatic, and nerdier than Screech Powers at a Lone Gunman convention. He was lively, but he sucked, and who knows how far he'll go. In his next career, I mean.

Ace Young. Ace, you had me at "George Michael." Before Randy said THESE EXACT WORDS, I said them to myself. "Not the BEST voice ever, but Jesus, what a star." Okay, the "Dawg" might not have said "Jesus." Ace IS a star already, and would be a great Idol. Keep on rockin' in the free world. With Wham!

Taylor Hicks. So I've been a Taylor fan since day 1 and tried to vote for him tonight around 11:00, two hours after the lines opened. Dialed about 35 times ... got through twice. Twice!! Nothing but busy signals, unlike poor Patrick (see above). "Leavon" wasn't the greatest song choice, but he is fantastically captivating and I would LOVE him to win. Ace would be a better sell for 19 Entertainment, but Taylor would be better in terms of world harmony.

Also? Two Constantine jabs, as I saw them.

1. Randy, RE: Ace. "Some guys out here pretended to work the crowd and the ladies, but it was all an act and they were just faking it"

2. Simon, RE: Bucky. "We've had 'rockers' here before, and then we find out they are just wedding singers who happen to wear a leather jacket."

Oh, MFC, the bell tolls for thee.

Whirled, out.